Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize