You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
