I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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