doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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