Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
