Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
