Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Randomize
