So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
