My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
