Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
