This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
