you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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