If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
