Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
