that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Duck Duck Cougar?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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