Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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