We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
When did angry sex become our thing?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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