I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Holy sore nipples Batman
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
