Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
