Betty ford says i'm here all night
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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