Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
