Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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