Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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