I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
