What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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