enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
