If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
