My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize