As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
my being single is dangerous.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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