I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
