ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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