my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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