remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize