hell yes lets make some ravioli
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
