Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
