We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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