dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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