Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
