I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
