JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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