He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
