THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
