just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
there was a trapeze. enough said
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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