I just made out with a guy for $7.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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