i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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