i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize
