I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
