I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
