I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
