One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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