who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
