**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
another moral hangover. fuck.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
