Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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