Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize