3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Randomize
