My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
