she sounds like chewbacca in bed
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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