pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize