you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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