I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize