I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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