..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
