Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
