This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
