It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
