a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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