Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Don't make out with my wife yet
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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