I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
