my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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