my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
