Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize