Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
