he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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