I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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