It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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